How I Turned A Demoralizing Situation Into A Motivating One

When I stopped weekly vision therapy, I was told to continue doing 30 minutes of eye exercises every day so I could maintain the progress I had made. I didn't want to lose ground, but I begrudgingly did the daily eye exercises.

During the follow-up appointment, he could not provide any time frame for stopping the exercises. It felt very demoralizing. I went to the car and bawled.

Once I stopped crying and calmed my amygdala (the emotional side of my brain), I realized that I needed to schedule an appointment with my coach to process what had happened and find a way to move forward.

During my coaching call, I realized three things.

1. I had never fully processed the emotions about stopping therapy. I am grateful for the progress we made, but I was sad that we hadn't made more progress.
2. The doctor had not acknowledged the time and effort I had put in. Conversations with the doctor always felt like he was scolding me about not doing the exercises even though I had only missed three days of exercises in the 15 months I was in weekly therapy.
3. I needed to reframe the situation in light of my strengths. One of my top ten CliftonStrengths is Maximizer. Because I am always trying to improve, doing daily exercises to simply maintain felt stagnant and demoralizing.

Once we realized that the exercises were working against my Maximizer strength, my coach asked a powerful question.

“What will be possible in five years because of the daily effort you are putting in now?”

Wow! I was blown away. That one question changed everything!

Immediately, I thought of the doctoral program I want to pursue in a few years. By putting in the daily effort now doing something I found boring and tedious, I was building stamina and perseverance that would help me when the time comes to write a dissertation.

I could reframe my daily vision therapy exercises and think about the benefits they will provide in the future.

Now, instead of dreading doing my exercises, they are simply a part of my routine just like reading my Bible, going for a walk, and tracking my eating.

I am so grateful to have an ongoing relationship with my coach. I have one coaching session per month with her. Sometimes we talk about business building or evaluate a coaching session I had with a client so I can continue to improve my skills. Other times, I need a life coach to help me process and reframe what is happening in my life.